Well kiddies I need to put something out into the atmosphere.. JaYlUV is still creating new realities and experiences. So many things are happening to me, things that still amaze me. It's so strange to me that I had to get to my latter 20's in order to begin to "get a life" and have fun. To Live. So strange that I feel as young now as the 20 and 21 year olds out there that are in the clubs that I frequent. In keeping with this youthful feeling... I have my first crush..Yes... Your eyes do not deceive you.. JaYLuV has a crush. Why is this such a note worthy event? Well to provide the Readers Digest condensed version, things have not always happened the way that I would have liked in love. I choose not to dwell on the negative or the sadness,I have been SO very lucky to have met and have some wonderful men grace my life. I could sit and spin so many beautiful webs telling of amazing and extremely special love affairs that I have had. The amazing memories are the ones that I choose to remember. I had however given up on having those feelings, in favor of focusing on my career and my life.. And most of all ME. I remember in my last relationship feeling somewhat like a those trees that the Orientals prune at the roots and at the tops, never allowing the tree to grow. I felt so stultified. Like a mental midget. I wanted to get out, to be in control of my life and create my own realities. To make my own decisions..be BOSS.. So I left. Over time I've become so independent and self absorbed that I haven't really had time or a need for letting anyone close for longer than a moment. Well I met a young man.. He resides in Alabama. And yes,I have a serious crush on him. I admit it. When my phone rings and it is him, I am very happy etc. And that is the good part of this. He also feels the same about me. This guy is a fellow blogger as well, and after an incident that left us not speaking to each other he actually used his blog as a means to express his feelings about me. Which melted my heart completely. The way that he came across was so pure and heartfelt that I was just at a total loss for words. All of these elements add up to a GREAT LOVE STORY you would think. And they do.This guy has my attention in a way that no one has had in such a very long time. And I him. Well there is a fly in the proverbial ointment. There was someone there before I came along. He cares for this person just as much as he cares for me. I have come along and provided the confusing voice to Mr. Alabama (as he will forever be called). This crush has become the source of frustration lol for both of us. With him expressing all these deep feelings about me and me him but us being "locked" in this incubation period. So while I really do not expect much to come of this.. it is worth mentioning because the young man is absolutely beautiful inside and out.. and maybe in another space and time.. Also it is worth mentioning because I feel things, such pure, innocent, healthy, totally pretty, fuzzy, feelings. Things that I locked away long ago surface when I think of him. And that... lets me know that though my friends call me "Stone Cold" due to my hard glossy surface, there still is a bit of the romantic that once was. Yes.. Even JaYLuV is prone to have a crush every now and again.
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