So in the photograph above, the girls that would later become The Supremes.. they look like they are having a good ole time.. clowning.. dancing..and doing those things that friends do when they get together..no?
Only years later would we learn that at least from Mary Wilson, the vibes were ANYTHING BUT friendly toward the other 2 girls. I mean Flo Ballard was quoted as saying that she would have rather dealt with Diana Ross who might not have always been tactful, but WAS always honest and you knew where you stood with her at any given moment.. where as Mary.. spoke with a forked tongue... I have been thinking all weekend long on the subject of FRIENDS. What constitutes you calling someone one... what makes you one.. what makes a good one...and what behaviors does someone exhibit that tells you that they really AREN'T one.. and it is time to toss them like you tossed that baby tee from 1996....
I can honestly say that I have never had many friends. I am not sure if this has anything to do with growing up alone as I did.. or my seeing may parents NOT socialize very much or what.. but I have always been kind of guarded with my life.. not ever finding it easy to let someone get too close to me.. as a result.. I haven't ever run with a clique..or travelled in a pack.. the few times when friends of mine have tried to merge me into a group.. I usually skirt the edge.. choosing to remain singular. This has usually been the case to enth degree when it came down to friendships with men. I never saw the need...as a matter of fact I had ONE good male friend when I was in high school.. He was a Senior when I was a Sophomore.. and we have remained friends all these years.. He is married.. and has 3 beautiful children... During the years, I managed to meet and keep also 2 gay male friends. I have been friends with both.. over 5 years.. and make no mistake. We are NOT a group.. I am friends with both individually.. not together. Lately though, 1 of them who I will call Sleeparound Sue is starting to make me really question our "friendship" if indeed there still is one.. i believe that your friends are people who.. no matter what... are there for you.. there is no judgement involved.. they are there to lend a helping hand... money.. anything.. when you need them because they know.. that if the tables were turned.. you would do all the same for them.. Whenever you call/text..they answer because they feel that hearing from you in an important thing.. and you just might need them. When you get ready to tear the club up.. they are that one person that you KNOW to call because you both are gonna have the time of your lives.. and they are THERE.. Lately I have to say... Sleeparound Sue.. has been falling short...blatantly ignoring texts then feigning loss of phone service, or being asleep.. or better yet.. leaving his phone elsewhere only to retrieve it later.. yet when were are together he is GLUED to his cell phone.. The reason that I haven't given him the HEAVE HO is memories of the good times we have shared over these last 10 years.. Is friendship all that it's cracked up to be? Do we need to have friends? And is it possible to have lifelong friendships in this lifestyle? is it necessary? And am I missing out because I do everything by myself?
We r a lot alike...only difference is, ive never been a loner. In fact, all of my friends are females..its males that never last. Just lost one that I thought was gonna be a great friend. He says it was my fault and its back n forth but the point is, its already hard enough to find someone you identify with. I thought by having a male friend that was gay like me, i could find someone to relate to me on that level, because my female friends can only relate so much being that, they are females! But......thats never how it turns out. I have one that lives in another state and he looks promising as a friend and thats probably because of the distance. We have a normal friendship. Hes a great guy. I think maybe he will be the only one ill ever have...but i have learned...APPRECIATE WHAT YOU HAVE!! even if that means you know you do things alone...APPRECIATE YOU!!
ReplyDeleteThis friend stuff gets taken too seriously...its hard work like any other relationship but we've got to be patient and not expect one over night. That never happens. I know yours has been over 10 years ,but there is also a such thing as GROWING OUT OF A PERSON. No hard feelings...just growing apart. May be necessary for you to succeed further and grow.