Why hello!!!! It's good to see each of you! I want you to know that I havent been just lying around eating Thanksgiving leftovers!! Or maybe I have... All of my clothes seem to have gotten somewhat tighter in the span of a few short days... Nevertheless HERE I AM!! I don't have to tell you that of course this is the Holiday season which means time spent with family (sigh) and friends.. I have survived the Thanksgiving holiday, (which I plan to speak about very shortly) and am greatly anticipating a quiet Christmas with friends and NO family or blood relatives anyway. You see, on the subject of FAMILY I am sort of divided. I can definitely understand the reasons that African Americans seem to hold fast to the idea that family or blood relatives are the most important things...or should be...in your life. However I know first hand that at the end of the day "FAMILY" or blood kin can be just as, if not MORE toxic and lethal than any common stranger in the alley.
Mi Familia and I have a sort of complicated relationship. While my Mother and I are VERY close, we speak daily... I cannot begin to say the same for the extendeds. I seem to be born of a totally different breed.. They feel that I have such a huge and Grand self image and in turn their image of me is GRANDIOSE. The regard me as a celebrity almost.. You know how everyone looks at Miss Ross as this over the top star, and they just search fervently for the moment to put her in her place? That's how it's always been with my family. They search daily for the oppurtunity to "put me in my place" and try never to let me forget that they remember me "when". Well to sort of rub salt into the wound, though we came from a very poor area..my parents were never poor. I don't say this to say that I came from astronomical wealth. I didnt. But while my cousins parents were on welfare, and such I had 2 hard working parents who gave me EVERYTHING that I ever wanted. While my cousins lived an almost nomadic hand to mouth existance..I knew what it was to live in my own home, with a large yard and all the modern conveniences that I knew how to wish for. We had 2 cars, there was always food on the table, and we lived comfortably. My Mere and Pere were or are what we would call working class. So my aunts and so on, saw me grow up with an almost Cosby like existance...
This is where the animosity began..and has grown to epic proportions with the passage of the years.
This undercurrent of neagitvity is what I faced coming into spending the holdiay with "those people" as I call them. After speaking with my mother, she made me aware that we would all be together this year, and that we would be having the meal at my youngest aunt's home. Well this aunt CANNOT COOK at all... I have literally seen her foul up the boiling of an egg-MISERABLY.. Well at the risk of having yet another atrociously inedible meal prepared by my aunt, I immediately did what I do best. I took charge. I called my aunt to let her know what I would cook and then to delegate tasks to the rest of them that CAN cook.. I can cook....this is just a natural talent.It's certainly nothing that I have ever studied. I just walked into the kitchen one day and from instict, began to prepare the most wonderful creations. So I volunterred my ham, dressing, and potato salad. And this is where the skirmish began.... I have another aunt (there are 5 of them) who ALWAYS makes dressing at Thanksgiving.. well over time let's just say that her talents for creating the perfect dressing have somewhat diminished... example..her cornbread dressing (made with Jiffy cornbread mix) was mistaken for a "pan of brownies" one year...and was called "brown rice" this year. I approached this years dinner with military precision, knowing that the sucess or failure of the harvest, rested solely on my shoulders and that these vipers would like nothing more than to see me fail at the planning of the meal. I started by letting the dressing maker know, that I would be taking over that task. Well she says that she has already bought the ingredients ..saying " I already bought all the JIFFY (YUCK) that Dollar General had, and I started on the dressing last week" Astonished though I was that A. she uses JIFFY CORNBREAD MIX to prepare something so sacred to any Southerner as cornbread dressing and B. that she started the monstrosity almost a full 2 weeks early, I rebounded quickly with "Well I make my cornbread from scratch..so you'll be alright... " from there it seemed unnecessary for anymore discussion. I called the others letting them know what was needed and went to great pains to impart to each one what was expected of them. After hours and hours of phone calls all across the globe, I had a beautiful meal put together....
Fried Turkey, Oven baked Jewish Turkey, Squash Casserole, Green beans, Rice, Gravy, Dressing, Ham, Macaroni and Cheese,Potato Salad, Collard greens..and my FAVORITE.. Chitterlings (yes CHITLINS) I EAT EM PROUDLY... I also decided at the last minute to throw together a Sweet potato Souffle'. And there we had dinner. All went well. My mother arrived, with longer hair than i've seen on her in years.. I've always loved her with long flowing hair. and we began on Wednesday preparing for Thursday. My mother, my oldest aunt who i am acutally close to as well and I began cooking at my aunts place.. We sipped a little Pouilly Fuisse (courtesy of yours truly) and listened to the oldies.. and as the Diana Ross played and the Pouilly Fuisse flowed we had a blast. That went well. My mother was immensely proud and impressed at my abilities in the kitchen.
Well Thursday comes and I allow my aunt and mother to go ahead of me to my other aunts home where we would have supper. I arrived last..and fashionable late as always.. The whole platoon was assembled and I felt as though I were stepping into an enemy war zone or a lions pit. When I walked in with my shades on no less.. I heard several audible gasps.. then i heard the pip that will stick with me for the rest of my life..."LOOK AT HOW HE COMES IN... LIKE A CELEBRITRY..." followed by a sniff and a "SURE IS GRAND ISNT HE" And I knew to expect this. I knew it was coming. So my aunt that was hell bent on making her dressing, made her dressing anyway.. Well much to her chagrin, and my delight.. no one touched her offering. My ham was the star and center piece of the meal. Which made my mother very proud.
We ate.. we drank... I moved from table to table keeping everyone entertained.. and even though i felt the rolled eyes and the hateful attitudes. I made the best of the meal and after a respectable amount of time. I departed. Thanksgiving this year was a very tiring time. I dont think that I will ever undertake the task of planning and preparing most of the meal again. It was a LOT to take on especially while attempting to work and be present for other things.
I learned one thing this year, I do live apart from my family, and though its only 30 minutes, I move in a totally different stratosphere than them. I have ascended.. it happened long ago and its not something that i apologize for. I felt it happening years ago when at holiday time I went off to another room alone, for quiet reflection while the others engaged in raucus and spirited conversation. I have always felt as though i floated above or along the top of them.. looking down.. and occasionally descending to shake a hand or lend a smile here and there.. then climbing back atop my pedestal.. and quite frankly this is how they all feel and treat me.
What can I say? I guess I am my own creation. A shooting star...
I hope you had a wonderful and love filled Thanksgiving.. until next time.. LOVE to each of you!
DONT WORRY BABY. JUST DO WAHT MAKES YOU FEEL GOOD!
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